Introduction
If you are a victim of Child Protective Services, I am empathetic to your pain. Losing a child to the state can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences a parent can go through. That said, once you get over the initial shock, you better buck up and get ready to fight.
When I say fight, I mean fight for your kids. Fight to make it right. Fight to fix what it is that got you into this mess. Fight to get the truth on the record. I don't mean, get with every idiot on Facebook and piss and moan in a group or go to a protest outside of a local CPS office. In fact, many of the people who do these things lost their children years ago and no longer have any realistic hope of winning in any court in the USA. Even if you do prove your case 10 years down the road, too much time will have gone by and they won't want to disrupt the child's stability that has been established for them in your absence. So you need to fight the right way from the start.
So, with that, here are my...
Top 5 Ways to Lose Your CPS Case.
1) Go all out psycho on them.
Go ahead! Shoot your mouth off. Make threats. Tell them about your 2nd cousin who is a mafia hitman on the other side of the country.
Remember CPS is always looking for reasons to take your kids away. If you as much as raise your voice against them, they are likely to claim they felt intimidated. All of that will go on the record.
2) Join a group of idiots on Facebook
If you want to win, you have to be careful who you take advice from. If you align yourself with idiots, you be viewed as one.
There is a common misperception that there is strength in numbers. While that is true on many issues, CPS victims who are doing nothing but shaking their fists and waving signs about CPS corruption in the air, have never had the numbers needed to make a major impact. Nor are any of these people going to be allowed in the court room with you when they are terminating your rights.
If you want to see numbers, just watch what happens after a high profile child abuse death gets leaked to the news media. There will be huge numbers of child advocates and CPS supporters demanding they do more to protect kids. It happens every time.
That said, there are many good people on Facebook helping parents to fight CPS. The difference is that the people who will help you to win will focus on the issues involved in YOUR INDIVIDUAL CASE. They will help you focus on getting your kid back rather than changing any existing laws that could take years to change that you simply don't have. They will help you to interpret the law and to present your case in a way that will help you to win.
Either that or they will help you do what you need to do to get your life back on track so that you can successfully parent your kids and thus win your case (I recommend this approach for people with anger management or substance dependency issues, for example. If you lost your kids because of your heroin addiction, you should probably get off the drugs, and you would have my full support. If you lost your kids because of your abusive boyfriend/girlfriend, you should probably dump them. Just sayin.
3) Don't bother to get organized or even read any of the paperwork they have given you.
There is a parent who I know and who I really wanted to help. A close personal friend of mine asked for help on behalf of this person and I honestly tried. I quickly discovered that she didn't even know what was going on in her case because she hadn't read any of the paperwork and didn't open any of the mail that was sent to her by the worker.
She didn't live all that far away, so I even offered to help her get started with getting organized enough to know what CPS is saying and using against her, but it never happened. She didn't put appointments down on a Calander, so she missed them, etc. The meetings that she did attend she was clueless and couldn't believe what they were saying about her. She felt like the rug was being ripped out from under her.
It just never seems to dawn on some people that it's all about what's on paper. If they're accusing you of it, it's written on paper. Therefore you need to get organized enough to follow along. If you do, you will be much better prepared for what lies ahead and you will be better able to present your case, the work you've completed, whatever that may be. Getting organized will help you to help your lawyer to fight your case. You simply have to be willing to do the work.
4) Skip visits, appointments, meetings, etc.
I can't stress enough the importance of being reliable and punctual when dealing with these people. If you don't make one visit, they will make it seem like a major disappointment for the child. If you skip a meeting or an appointment, then they will make it look like you just don't care enough to do the work. It is truly important to complete whatever services CPS requires of you, regardless of whether or not you think you need it.
5) Don't bother getting yourself set up with services or allow the CPS worker to do it all for you.
If CPS is up your ass, you gotta do what you gotta do to win.
I would like to be a part of the reason you turn your life around, get your kids back, and become some sort of success story, but unfortunately some people just can't be helped.
